Look, it’s not easy being a dog. The food stinks, you’ve got no opposable thumbs, and worst of all, you’re forced to poop outside, in front of everyone.
That’s why we’ve assembled a list of some of the best (and strangest) dog products on the market today. Because man’s best friend deserves a nice present once in a while.
This Patch of Grass That Lets Your Pooch Poop on a Piece of the Outside, Inside
Fresh Patch is perfect for puppies in potty training, seniors with control issues, and deeply agoraphobic canines.
Snappy Amazon Review: I love this thing! –trikkinikki
This Light-Up Leash That Will Keep Her Safe And Flash You Back To Your ’90s Rave Days
In all seriousness, these leashes are great way to keep your pup — and yourself — safe during dark walks. They even recharge via USB, and will make you feel like you’re in the world of TRON.
Snappy Amazon Review: We have the green one and it is so excellent! Our labradoodle is the coolest dog at the dog park. -Raquel
This Dog Papoose That Will Make Your Dog Feel Important
My dog loves this papoose. And I like to think, if he didn’t stand ten inches off the ground and weigh twelve pounds, that he’d carry me around in the same papoose if he could.
Snappy Amazon Review: This carrier is life-changing. -Kristin
This Ball-Tossing Robot That Will Entertain Your Dog For Hours
The future of fetch is here, and its name is iFetch. Sure, it may render you useless in the eyes of your dog come playtime, but wouldn’t you rather be sitting anyway?
Snappy Amazon Review: Absolutely love this and so does my dog. -Charlie
This Custom Plush Clone of Your Dog Dog That Will Delight Or Deeply Disturb Him
Budsies.com can create plush replicas of humans too. At $89 a pop, it’s the cheapest way to replicate yourself. And you’ll never have to put it through college.
This High Tech Camera That Lets You Dispense Treats From Anywhere On Earth
You can even speak to your pooch through the Furbo. Though it may scare the hell out of him.
Snappy Amazon Review: This product is a godsend. -Michael
This Puzzle That Will Turn Your Regular Dog Into a Canine Einstein
First-hand experience here: my dog goes nuts for this puzzle nightly. And while I’m not sure how much smarter it’s made him, I’m pretty sure it’s raised his self-esteem to possibly unhealthy bounds.
Snappy Amazon Review: A really fun and simple way to keep your dog busy for a little bit! -Rebecca
This Awesome Dog House That’s Literally Nicer Than My Own House
Home ownership may be a distant, unattainable dream for millions of Americans, but it doesn’t have to be so for your dog. The thing’s got a doggie roof deck, for crying out loud.
Snappy Amazon Review: My dog loves the house lol! But seriously. -Jonathan
This Futuristic Doggy Door That Lets Your Pup In and Keeps the Riff-Raff Out
Just snap the SmartDoor key onto Fido’s collar and he’ll gain entrance to the most exclusive club in town: su casa (your house). It even comes in a variety of sizes to fit any canine frame.
Snappy Amazon Review: This is the best pet door made to date. -Joseph
These Surprisingly Impressive Doggie Backpacks
These doggie packs are the perfect place to store poop bags, treats, toys, and other sundries. And they make your dog feel one step closer to human, which I think is a kindness.
This Paw-Activated Water Fountain That Will Give Your Dog a Sense of Control In a World Gone Mad
There’s a bit of a learning curve here, but once Fido figures out the paw-activated Doggie Fountain, he’ll finally get the on-demand hydration he deserves. Soon enough, he’ll be opening doors, walking himself, and preparing your taxes.
Snappy Amazon Review: Proof is in the Pudding. -Nicole
This Simple Device That Will Make Sure He Never Misses a Meal
Your dog’s got three things to look forward to in life: being petted, being walked, and being fed. Don’t let yourself forget a single one.
Snappy Amazon Review: Great. Served its purpose. -Will
These Male Cow Parts That Are Irresistible To Dogs
They are what you think they are. And my dog can not get enough of them. And I’m not sure how to feel about that.
Snappy Amazon Review: Our dogs love these! Nice thick size for longer chewing. Not too stinky. -pammyjams
This Magical Plastic Bubble That Gives Your Dog a Porthole To The World
Expand your pup’s view on the world with this game-changing doggie porthole. The PetPeek Fence Window comes with all required hardware, and installation’s a breeze.
Squirrels, mailmen, other squirrels: you’re officially on notice. We’ll be watching you.
Snappy Amazon Review: So fun. Dogs totally love this. -Doglover
This Futuristic Doggie Carrier Gives Your Pooch A View Of The World
Who said portholes are just for ships? Give Fido his own view on the world as you carry him along on all your adventures.
This “Deep Dish” Doggie Bed Looks So Comfortable, You’ll Want One For Yourself
Seriously, doesn’t that photo just make you want to curl up and snooze?
This PetZone Treat Ball Will Keep Your Puppo Busy All Day Long
You know your doggo misses you while you’re gone. Load up one of these babies, and he’ll miss you slightly less.
This Portable Shower Gadget Is Perfect For Canine Bathing
Spare yourself the inevitable mess that occurs when a dog enters a bathtub. Take your canine shower game out-of-doors with this portable solution.
Keep Your Pooch Hydrated Anywhere With This Gulpy Water Dispenser
Now those hikes never have to end!
This Maze Feeder Keeps Your Pooch From Pigging Out Too Quickly
If someone tried to feed me with one of these, I’d get intensely hangry. But fortunately, dogs see it as a fun food challenge, and don’t all of our canines need a sense of accomplishment once in a while?
Yes, You Can Buy Goggles For Your Dog
I call them Doggles, and I am buying them today for my pup, Peabo.
Teach Your Dog To Request Potty-Time With This Set Of Door-Mounted Jingle Bells
This simple-yet-brilliant addition to your doorknob is called Tinkle Bells, and can be yours for under $10 on Amazon.